I'm sure he can get another

So my wife and I are headed into Brooklyn to go visit the Botanical Gardens with my wife's brother and his fiancee ("Sara").

We're on the train early on a Saturday morning so it's pretty empty. A few benches down and across the train is a homeless (addict) guy asleep on the bench.

Sara had never really been exposed to homeless people, much less up close and personal. They are very much not city people. At one point on the trip the train came to a pretty abrupt stop and a glass tube (crack pipe) fell from the homeless guy's pocket.

After explaining to Sara what it was she asked the most unexpected question...

"Should we wake him?"

Don't You Do That!

I had recently moved to Brooklyn, and my mom came out from Ohio to see my new place. 

I   took her into the city for dinner and a Broadway show. It was her first time in New York, so we walked around Times Square after the show. It was around midnight when we got on the W headed back to Brooklyn. The train was pretty packed, but by the time we hit Rector Street it was just us and this guy on our car. He kept looking at us, and then all of the sudden he walked over to us and squeezed in between us to sit down. 

Before we could move, he put his arms around us and pulled us into him. My mom pushed his arm off and stood up. I did the same thing as the man stood up. He yelled at us to give him our purses and started to reach into his pocket. I thought that was it - we were going to get shot. 

But at that very moment my mom got right up into his face and said, “Don’t you do that!” He didn’t move and then again my mom said, “Don’t you do that!” and that time she shook her finger at him as if he was a bad child. 

The man looked at her like she was crazy, but he still didn’t move. My mom then told me to go pull the emergency cord. 

The man then turned into an overgrown kid. He dared me to do it and even stuck his tongue out at me. Thank God we arrived at the next stop and the man ran off because I had no idea where the emergency cord was. My mom let out a big sigh of relief. We got home safe that night. Too bad I can’t have my mom around all the time.