The Devil

So, get this. I’m on the D train with my girlfriend and across from us was this crazy lady.

She was surrounded by all these bags and plants covered with paisley paper. In fact, she was all covered in paisley.  Like she shopped at Maria von Trapp and Company.   She stared at me for a real long time. 

I finally asked her what she was staring at and she screamed..."The Devil! You are the devil!"

For a while I just sat there, but she wouldn’t stop.”You’re the devil! You are pure evil. The devil! I feel sorry for your girlfriend.” 

Finally, I blurted out “Fuck you paisley lady.  You’re crazy.  Just leave us alone.” She shut up, but every once in a while I’d catch her glancing at me.  She and her paisley bags got off two stops later.  The messed up thing about all of this is that was the fourth time that week that a crazy person called me the devil.